Mikey's got a gun

To the tune of "Janie's got a gun" by Aerosmith:

Mikey got a gun
Mikey got a gun
And granma's got his son
to keep from knowing what he'd done
What did he have to do?
Who'd he put a bullet through?
He said he shot Ana Lucia,
And Libbie's in an early grave
And Mikey managed to get Benry to the safety of the Others
So Walt and Mikey could be saved

Mikey lost his son
in his frustration
knives and ropes and cars and guns
He's cheating death just for fun
How can he end it all
drive himself into a wall
But even though his car is totalled,
He lives to see another day
But when he's finally out of traction and he gets a new revolver
Mr Friendly's got some things to say

Guns will jam, ropes will snap and power tools will fail
You're denied suicide, all attempts will come to no avail
Freighter rides on the tide, We'll get you inside

Mikey got a bomb
Doesn't know who it's from
But if he turns it on
there'll be nothing left to be enbalmed
Power's on but all he gets
a warning not to blow it yet
Cos Benry's on the other line telling Mikey just wait a while
You'll get your chance to blow the freighter just as soon as all the good guys
are in the safety of the isle

Sweep the deck, wash the dishes keep your profile low
don't be caught, even if Sayid'll try to blow your cover
Dobs you in, Captain grins, think you can swim

Captain's got a gun
Shooting skeets for fun
Mikey's almost done
And everybody's having fun

Mikey's got some gum
Naomi's got hot buns

Captain's an Australian
(Mikey's now called Kevin Johnson)
Desmond's back in 'Nam
(And death is in his sight)
Mr Friendly's real name is Tom
(Myles knows it's not his real name)
Widmore is a piece of scum
(But he won't start a fight)

We're getting off the island

We're getting off the island. (Uncensored)

Kate and Sawyer John Locke - nothing rhymes with John Locke
Maybe sock and Black Rock - how am I to know?
Plane crash on an island, why are there survivors
think they'd answer questions that we asked four years ago

Locke smiles orange peel - nothing rhymes with orange peel
Kate unties a shoelace, Surly Sawyer caught her eye
Smoke monster, drug addiction, backgammon, racial friction
Kate is sewing Shepherd's shoulder and he's counting up to five

We're getting off the island
Fuck you, Benry Linus
Someone's trying to find us
We're getting off the island
So it's see ya later
Get me on the freighter

Desmond punches numbers, penalty for blunders
Is Electromagnetism causing planes to fall
Benry's got a bad back, needs the help of Dr Jack
John was in a wheel chair, now he's standing tall

Hurley counts the numbers, he owes Walt a fortune
Of the tail section crew, only one of them survive
Dharma's got a history, dabbling in mystery
Benry's all cut up inside, poisons them with cyanide

We're getting off the island
Fuck you, Benry Linus
Someone's trying to find us
We're getting off the island
So it's see you later
Get me on the freighter

Widmore wants the island, he's about to find it
Freighter people come to claim Benry as a prisoner
Now we got new mysteries: hatches, stations tvs
island heals all maladies even spinal injuries

Hurley doesn't lose the weight, Mikhail can regenerate
Jin regains virility by the seventh Saturday
Pregnant women's vaccine, Mr Friendly's such a queen
By the way - Friendy's gay - listening to cold play!

We're getting off the island
Fuck you, Benry Linus
Someone's trying to find us
We're getting off the island
So it's sionara
Friendly wears tiaras

Trekking in the jungle Charlie's efforts bungle
jamming signal hides them all from Widmore's prying eyes.
Freighter's got a new clan - Ghostbuster Lawnmowerman
Charlotte, Dr Faraday here for Benry's hide
Desmond's going back in time, finds a constant - he is fine
Micheal gets his son away - back as Kevin Johnson!

We're getting off the island
Fuck you, Benry Linus
Someone's trying to find us
We're getting off the island
So it's see you later
Get me on the freighter

Kate looks after Claire's kid - nothing rhymes with Aeron
Sun has had a little girl, Jin is six feet underground
Charlie's haunting Hurley, Sayid works for Benry
48 survived the crash, why have only six been found

Flash-forward, flashback, here's a bearded Dr Jack
Til he helps out Benry's side, Michael can't do suicide
Benry Widmore go to war, can you take in anymore?
Jack is driving downtown, tell me who's the funeral for?

We're getting off the island
Fuck you, Benry Linus
Someone's trying to find us
We're getting off the island
think we have the answers
but the mysteries go on and on and on and on...