James LeFleur

(Son of a bitch)

You trekked across the island
While it was traveling back thru time
You accidentally saved some Dharma girl
who was married to that Horus guy
You went and got yourself a uniform
They made you head of security

And Juliet said that she'd be your partner
she'd be your partner

James LeFleur
There couldn't be a Dharma without you
James LeFleur
Don't let nobody find out about you
don't you, don't you

For three long years you ran the show
while you were stuck in the 70's
Just when you'd settled down and made yourself a happy home
Somebody then found Sayid
And the only girl you ever loved
found her way back to you
And cos of you, she's now workin' for Dharma,
workin' for Dharma

James LeFleur
There'd probably be no Dharma without you
James LeFleur
Don't let nobody find out about you
don't you, don't you don't you


Son of a Bitch, you're all workin' for Dharma
workin' for Dharma

James LeFleur
There'd couldn't be a Dharma without you
James LeFleur
Somebody's gonna find out about you
all about you

You tried to stop Dr Jack in his tracks
when you discovered he had the bomb
He's gonna blow up the hatch before it ever gets built
and maybe none of you would have come
Was this a chance to alter future time
Or was it all meant to be?
And Dr Jack said he'd see you in LA, see you in LA

James LeFleur
There'd probably be no Dharma without you
James LeFleur
Don't let nobody find out about you
don't you, don't you

Barenaked 2009 update

Barenaked Update:

How y'all doing? It's been a while. I'm sitting in front of my laptop doing that awkward teenager thing, you know where you stand in front of the mirror and practice how to say "hey" to that girl you're about to ask out on a date? Well I'm doing the same awkward thing, only trying to write a quick blog entry to all you raving fans who are STILL downloading, listening, and loving my songs.

Man, I can't believe you guys - you're awesome. I haven't released a song in months, and still the subscribership to this blog, the listenership, and downloads keep a steady pace, as if you're all waiting for more.

I occasionally google "Barenaked Hurley" and what impresses me is that new folks are only just discovering the music. I read some blogs and some n00b will post: hey have you heard of Barenkaed Hurley? Check them out! I laughed my tits off!" and then some grumpy old flamer will reply "dude, I was into BNH before I was born" and then it degenerates into a "you shut up no YOU shut up no I was here first" thread and... gets locked.

I'm getting threads locked! Woohoo!

So I recently looked up some teasers for season 5 of Lost. And I thought about all those folks listening... how can I NOT keep this thing going? Already, I am trying to match songs to some ideas I've got floating around in my head for the last two seasons. I know I've done Beatles and Billy Joel, and I should probably move onto some newer fodder, so I'll open it up to you: what song would you think fits a BNH parody? Post a comment here, or email me at: flawedprefect@gmail.com

So it kicks off later this month, you say? Alright, I better put pen to paper, get the band back together and get to writing some tunes...

Mikey's got a gun

To the tune of "Janie's got a gun" by Aerosmith:

Mikey got a gun
Mikey got a gun
And granma's got his son
to keep from knowing what he'd done
What did he have to do?
Who'd he put a bullet through?
He said he shot Ana Lucia,
And Libbie's in an early grave
And Mikey managed to get Benry to the safety of the Others
So Walt and Mikey could be saved

Mikey lost his son
in his frustration
knives and ropes and cars and guns
He's cheating death just for fun
How can he end it all
drive himself into a wall
But even though his car is totalled,
He lives to see another day
But when he's finally out of traction and he gets a new revolver
Mr Friendly's got some things to say

Guns will jam, ropes will snap and power tools will fail
You're denied suicide, all attempts will come to no avail
Freighter rides on the tide, We'll get you inside

Mikey got a bomb
Doesn't know who it's from
But if he turns it on
there'll be nothing left to be enbalmed
Power's on but all he gets
a warning not to blow it yet
Cos Benry's on the other line telling Mikey just wait a while
You'll get your chance to blow the freighter just as soon as all the good guys
are in the safety of the isle

Sweep the deck, wash the dishes keep your profile low
don't be caught, even if Sayid'll try to blow your cover
Dobs you in, Captain grins, think you can swim

Captain's got a gun
Shooting skeets for fun
Mikey's almost done
And everybody's having fun

Mikey's got some gum
Naomi's got hot buns

Captain's an Australian
(Mikey's now called Kevin Johnson)
Desmond's back in 'Nam
(And death is in his sight)
Mr Friendly's real name is Tom
(Myles knows it's not his real name)
Widmore is a piece of scum
(But he won't start a fight)

We're getting off the island

We're getting off the island. (Uncensored)

Kate and Sawyer John Locke - nothing rhymes with John Locke
Maybe sock and Black Rock - how am I to know?
Plane crash on an island, why are there survivors
think they'd answer questions that we asked four years ago

Locke smiles orange peel - nothing rhymes with orange peel
Kate unties a shoelace, Surly Sawyer caught her eye
Smoke monster, drug addiction, backgammon, racial friction
Kate is sewing Shepherd's shoulder and he's counting up to five

We're getting off the island
Fuck you, Benry Linus
Someone's trying to find us
We're getting off the island
So it's see ya later
Get me on the freighter

Desmond punches numbers, penalty for blunders
Is Electromagnetism causing planes to fall
Benry's got a bad back, needs the help of Dr Jack
John was in a wheel chair, now he's standing tall

Hurley counts the numbers, he owes Walt a fortune
Of the tail section crew, only one of them survive
Dharma's got a history, dabbling in mystery
Benry's all cut up inside, poisons them with cyanide

We're getting off the island
Fuck you, Benry Linus
Someone's trying to find us
We're getting off the island
So it's see you later
Get me on the freighter

Widmore wants the island, he's about to find it
Freighter people come to claim Benry as a prisoner
Now we got new mysteries: hatches, stations tvs
island heals all maladies even spinal injuries

Hurley doesn't lose the weight, Mikhail can regenerate
Jin regains virility by the seventh Saturday
Pregnant women's vaccine, Mr Friendly's such a queen
By the way - Friendy's gay - listening to cold play!

We're getting off the island
Fuck you, Benry Linus
Someone's trying to find us
We're getting off the island
So it's sionara
Friendly wears tiaras

Trekking in the jungle Charlie's efforts bungle
jamming signal hides them all from Widmore's prying eyes.
Freighter's got a new clan - Ghostbuster Lawnmowerman
Charlotte, Dr Faraday here for Benry's hide
Desmond's going back in time, finds a constant - he is fine
Micheal gets his son away - back as Kevin Johnson!

We're getting off the island
Fuck you, Benry Linus
Someone's trying to find us
We're getting off the island
So it's see you later
Get me on the freighter

Kate looks after Claire's kid - nothing rhymes with Aeron
Sun has had a little girl, Jin is six feet underground
Charlie's haunting Hurley, Sayid works for Benry
48 survived the crash, why have only six been found

Flash-forward, flashback, here's a bearded Dr Jack
Til he helps out Benry's side, Michael can't do suicide
Benry Widmore go to war, can you take in anymore?
Jack is driving downtown, tell me who's the funeral for?

We're getting off the island
Fuck you, Benry Linus
Someone's trying to find us
We're getting off the island
think we have the answers
but the mysteries go on and on and on and on...

Sitting on Chair

Sitting on a Chair

To the tune of Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi





Benry's on a mission with Locke
To trek through the mud and see Benry's boss
Who's tough, so tough


Jacob seems to pull all the strings
And Locke wants to know all manner of things
About the Island

And Benry says that Jacob is one tough nut
He'll smite you like a sinner if you don't make the cut
They reach the cabin and Ben shows Locke what's there
But Locke only stares

Woah - is Jacob there?
Woah - sitting on a chair
Locke is pissed 'cause he's looking at air
Woah - sitting on a chair

Locke has spent a night and a day
To track Sawyer down, his dad had to pay
For cons, for cons
Sawyer made his dad go away
So Johnny could meet
The man that Ben obeys
Woah yeah

But while he's busy talking to an invisible man
Locke has had enough and turns his back on the plan
And then he hears somebody asking out for help
And he's had enough

Woah - is Jacob there
Woah - sitting on a chair
Locke is mad 'cause he doesn't have hair
Woah - sitting on a chair
Sitting on a chair

We might have caught on to Benry's plot
Should Locke trust the voice or is Benry on pot

Woah - is Jacob there
Woah - sitting on a chair
Locke is mad and he doesn't have hair
Woah - sitting on a chair

Woah - is Jacob there
Woah - sitting on a chair
Benry's nuts 'cause he's talking to air
Woah - sitting on a chair

Woah - is Jacob there
Woah - sitting on a chair
Locke is mad and he doesn't have hair
Woah - sitting on a chair
Sitting on a chair

Under Water Station

Under water Station

to the tune of Good Vibrations by The Beach Boys

Lyrics:

Ah - I guess that Charlie is gonna go
But before he does, he might do something brave
Yeah there may finally be a way
To attempt to call an offshore freighter save

Inside a new offshore station
They're jamming communication
(oooh under)
We're getting an explanation
(water station under)
Why there has been no salvation
(water station under)
(It's a new)
Inside a new offshore station
(water station under)
(dharma station)
They're jamming communication
(water station under)
(It's a new)
We're getting an explanation
(water station)
(dharma station)
Why there has been no salvation

There's a plan to somehow radio
a boat that's not far off the island coast
When we get the tower
We'll remove the looping message from Russeau

Inside a new offshore station
They're jamming communication
(oooh under)
We're getting an explanation
(water station under)
Why there has been no salvation
(water station under)
(It's a new)
Inside a new offshore station
(water station under)
(dharma station)
They're jamming communication
(water station under)
(It's a new)
We're getting an explanation
(water station)
(dharma station)
Why there has been no salvation

Station....

Aaaaaah

Charlie's inside the station
(With Desmond there he's beyond all care)
Penny's in desperation
(Dies via asphixiation)
Desmond can't bring help

Can't believe the code to disable the jamming signal is...
Can't believe the code to disable the jamming signal is...
Can't believe the code to disable the jamming signal is...

Aaaaaaaaaah!

Good Good Good good vibrations!
(oooh under water station under water station)

Jack is beating up Benjamin
(Locke is gonna kill the girl)
Cos he thought that Tom shot his friends
(To protect the island from)
Hurley drives a mean Dharma van
(Other people who will take)
Sawyer kickin back Dharma beer

Charlie Man

Charlie Man

to the tune of Piano Man by Billy Joel

It's four O'clock on some Other day
A bunch of us go for a swim
There's a scotsman drinking next to me
It's McKutchins with nothing else in

And he ass me "can you write a song or two,
In fact won't you write nine or ten?
Cos I'm sure I'll be needing a holiday
From saving your ass once again"


Oh something "you all everybody...
Lada chim-cheroo lada"

I'll sing you a song cos I'm Charlie man,
So listen you drunk scottish sod
Cos before our lane crashed on this island
You know I was a bloody rock god!

Now John was a wheelchair bound salesman
Who blew up a hatch and survived
He's obsessed with a dad who's a conman
Who continually ruined his life


And so Ben brought him onto the island
and demanded John cut off his head
But he didn't have the stomach to do it
He got Sawyer to kill him instead

Oh something "you all everybody...
Lada chim-cheroo lada"

Now Jack had performed spial surgery
On a man that he barely just met
Then they left Jack for dead and they went on ahead
so he came back with miss Juliette

All those Others can't have any babies
So they're taking our kids for their own
So we'd better start living together
Cos it's better than dying alone


I'll sing you a song cos I'm Charlie man,
About all this stuff from before
I may not be good in a rumble
But I'll make a good trubadour


It's a pretty good day for a skirmish
And the Others have plans to invade
And it's just been revealed what they're coming to steal
So we're ready to thwart their crusade

So I'll play my guitar to distract them
And while they're all looking this way
Take the chance that you find to sneak up from behind
And get busy at saving the day

Something something "I onece played a hobbit"
bloody rock god ladida dada

I'll sing you a song cos I'm Charlie man,
So listen you drunk scottish sod
Cos before our lane crashed on this island
You know I was a bloody rock god!